If I could do it all over again...

How many of us in this world are doing exactly what we want to do with our lives? Are you working that dream job? The job that you said you wanted when you were asked what you wanted to be when you grew up? Are you happy with your position in life and how far you've come thus far? I figure that very few of us are. Have you ever wondered why you are not where you want to be in life?

I have. I wonder it all the time. Where did I go wrong? I have so much potential. I have the intellect, the skills, and the personality, to do whatever I want in life. How come I'm stuck at a meaningless job that I loathe, and see people with half my potential smiling from ear to ear? How come I see black guys, in the streets of Detroit, driving $50,000 cars, who look like the only thing they excel at is peddling drugs? Well, I know why in that case, and I also know that they are destined for death or prison and will probably never reach Scarface levels of success. However, I still compare them to myself. These guys have no skills or intelligence whatsoever (although they may have street smarts, which are more valuable than one may think), yet they enjoy the sorts of things in life of which I can only dream. Why is this? Motivation.

These guys saw that they had nothing going for themselves. They probably dropped out of high-school, or at best, received a poor education. They probably grew up destitute, lower than middle-class, struggling to do the sorts of things that I took for granted... like eat. They grew up living this hard life and wanted a way out. Did they choose the right way? No, probably not. Did they choose the best way for them? Maybe so. What can not be argued, however, is that they chose a path and went after it. They said to themselves, "I want the best out of life. I want the big car. I want the expensive cars. I want the fast women." Then they went out and got it. Did they use the most wholesome methods? No, but they made a choice. They made a conscious decision. They decided what they wanted in life, and they went and got it. That is far more than can be said for me.

At what point did I come to the fork in the road and take the wrong path? Did I even take the wrong path? I'm still not quite sure. I do know, however, that my fork came around the time I was about to graduate from high-school. When I was a kid, I was destined for success. I was grown beyond my years. I was breezing through school, at least academically. I did have a tendency to "act out." I knew at a young age that, even though I did not know anything about "majors" and "careers," that I want to go to the University of Michigan after I graduated from high-school. I knew this before I had even entered middle-school. Once I got to high-school, I remained focused, and for the most, had not strayed from that path. Once I became a senior, however, I began to slack off. I skipped class. I didn't do homework. We only needed 3 years of math to graduate, so essentially, I could fail whatever math class I took my senior year and still graduate, and that's what I did. Ironically, I am exceptional at math and great with numbers. So that should give you an idea of the effort I had to put in to fail this class. I don't remember if I actually failed the class or if I got a D, but the damage was done. My GPA was too low for U of M, or even MSU. My test scores were phenomenal, far above MSU's standards. My GPA, however, was .1 below their standard, and because of this, I was not accepted.

Entering college at Wayne State, I was faced with yet another "fork." Do I want to proceed with a major that will lead to a job I enjoy, but that is not lucrative? Or do I want to choose a major that will lead to a well-paying job? I chose the former. As a fresh-faced and hopeful 18 year old with no responsibilities and my whole life ahead of me, this seemed like the correct decision. Now, a 26 year old adult with thousands of dollars of debt, a degree (which I technically do not have yet due to, you guessed it, money that I owe) that will lead to a job that pays less than my current one, I have to wonder if I made the right choice. The economy is horrible. Jobs are few and far between. I am living in an age (or at least a place) where a degree, of any kind, does anything but guarantee you a job. I think I chose the wrong side of the fork.

Browsing through job openings on careerbuilder.com, I see jobs that ask for candidates with a degree in a particular field, as well as x amount of years experience in that field as well…yet another fork in which I chose the wrong direction. I've realized that you can choose one of two paths upon entering the job market. You can choose a more retail/sales based path, in which you will work more with people, and will gain customer service experience. Or, you can choose a more labor-intensive path in which you may not have to work with people, but you will have to punish your body doing thankless physical labor. I chose the latter. Now, at 26, I realize that that path is for people who have no skills other than the body parts with which they born. Those people will never be able to do anything other than that. They are frequently uneducated, and are destined for a life of mediocrity. At the age of 18, I incorrectly chose to lump myself in with them. Now I have 8 years of job experience doing worthless work that anybody with all 4 of their extremities can do. If I had chosen the other path, yes, I may have started out making less money and would have had to deal with angry customers, all while keeping a smile plastered across my face. But I could have used my intelligence, personality, skills and hard work to move up in life or in that industry. Right now, I couldn't get a lousy $8/hr office job due to my 0 years experience in the field. Essentially, even though those jobs start off paying a lot less, there is so much more room for growth and advancement. With a physical labor job, you may start at $14-$15/hr and quickly (within the next 2 years or so) move up to $18-$20/hr, but that is all you will ever do with your life. If your dreams consist of "being able to live comfortably," then that is the path for you. If you want more out of your life, if you are capable of doing more with your life, if you want to have even the slightest chance of enjoying your job…you may want to do something else.

I suppose that, at this point, you are probably wondering where I am going with this. Well, I'm not quite sure myself. I'm still in the process of trying to figure out how to remedy my situation. I think it revolves around a process of trying to figure out what I'm good at, figuring out a logical end, then achieving that end. Before I can do any of that, however, I have to have motivation. I have that motivation now: my son. When I was by myself and only had to worry about me, my problems were my problems. Now, with a girlfriend of nearly 3 years and a son on the way, my problems are no longer solely my problems. My problems are her problems. They will soon be my son's problems. I have to get my life together and be happy with myself and my life so that I can be a good man for her and a good father for him. I have to know what I am going to tell him when he reaches his forks. I have to make a decision now, now that I have yet again arrived at another fork. I do know one thing for sure. If I could do it all over again, when I reached my forks, I would not have been so careless about which path I took. I will tell my son not to be as short-sighted as I was, and to look ahead and think about what will benefit him the most in the long run. If I could do it all over again, I would have set a better example for him to follow.