The White Man's Fashion Sense

I want everyone to close their eyes and imagine a world without black people. I'm sure a lot of you probably pictured a world with a lot less crime, spacious prisons, and no more Churches or Popeyes Chicken. Now close your eyes again and imagine the same world, this time, pay close attention to what all the white men are wearing. You saw one of two things. 1.) White men in polo shirts with the collars popped, cargo shorts, and sandals. 2.) Confusion and nudity.
As Paul Mooney once said, black people are the most copied people in the world. This could not be more evident than in the fashion sense of the white man. It seems that, like chameleons, they adapt to their surroundings, especially if they are surrounded by black people. God forbid there are no black men to be found! The white man is lost, and is left with no other option than to go out in the summer wearing a hoodie and shorts!
"Where did all the black guys go?!?! Ah geez...what am I gonna wear today!?! OK Taylor, you can do this, just talk yourself through it! Let's see, it's 90 degrees outside, so maybe I should dress appropriately for hot weather. I should put on a t-shirt and shorts...but gosh darnit, it looks so cool to wear a hoodie with shorts...I gotta do what's fashionable. Hoodie it is! After all, my upper body is always much colder than my lower body."
Then of course there is my favorite look: the douchebag. It starts at the crown, with the hair greased up to be as spikey as possible, lest someone attempt to pat them on the head. It is followed by the smedium sized yellow or white polo shirt, with the collar popped. The sleeves absolutely can not come past halfway to the elbow. If they did, we wouldn't be able to see the barbed wire tattoo going around the bicep. Then you have the cargo shorts, either brown or camouflage, with all the pockets packed to capacity. Finally, they top it off with the sandals, usually without socks, because after all, why WOULDN'T we want to see their feet? The highest quantity of douchebags can typically be found in cities such as Novi and Livonia.
Fortunately for the white man, black people do still exist. They can continue to come to us for guidance on how to talk, what kind of music to listen to, and how to dress. I, for one, am relieved. I wouldn't want to live in a world with a bunch of confused and naked white men.